A COMMENTARY ON PROVERBS
by Charles Bridges
(New York/Pittsburgh: R. Carter,
1847.) pages 429-431
13. Withhold not correction from
the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14. Thou shalt beat him
with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Christian
parents do not always recognize the scriptural standard of discipline.
"Foolishness is bound in the heart" of the parent, no less than
"of the child." "The wild ass's colt" (Job, xi. 12) must always
need its measure of correction. The rule therefore is, notwithstanding
all the pleas of pity and fondness--withhold it not. Do the work wisely, firmly, lovingly.
Persevere notwithstanding apparently unsuccessful results. Connect it
with prayer, faith, and careful in instruction.
We admit
that it is revolting to give pain, and call forth the tears of those we so
tenderly love. But while hearts are what hearts are, it is not to be
supposed that we can train without discipline. If it be asked--will not
gentle means be more effectual? Had this been God's judgment, as a God of
mercy, he would not have provided a different regimen. Eli tried them,
and the sad issue is written for our instruction. (1 Sam.
ii. 23-25; ill. 13.) 'Must I then be cruel to my
child?' Nay--God charges thee with cruelty, if thou withheld
correction from him. He "goes on his own foolishness." (Chap.
xx.ii. 15. Eccles. xi.10.) Except he be restrained, he will die, in his sin.
God has ordained the rod to purge his sins, and so deliver his soul from
hell. What 'parent then, that trembles for the child's eternal destiny,
can withhold correction? Is it not cruel love, that turns away from
painful duty? To suffer sin upon a child, no less than upon a brother, is
tantamount to "hating him in our heart." (Lev. xix. 17, with Chap.
xiii. 24.) Is it not better that the flesh should smart, than that the
soul should die? Is it no sin to omit a means of grace, as divinely
appointed, as the word and the sacraments? Is there no danger of
fomenting the native wickedness, and thus becoming accessory to the child's
eternal destruction? What if he should reproach thee throughout eternity, for
the neglect of that timely correction, which might have delivered his
soul from hell? Or even if he be "scarcely saved," may he not
charge upon thee much of his increasing difficulty in the ways of God?
Yet let it not be used at all times. Let remonstrance be first tried. Our heavenly Father never stirs the rod with
his children, if his gentle voice of instruction prevail. Continual
finding fault; applying correction to every slip of childish trifling or
troublesome thoughtlessness, would soon bring a callous deadness to all sense
of shame. Let it be reserved, at least in its more serious forms, for
wilfulness. It is medicine, not food; the remedy for the occasional
diseases of the constitution, not the daily regimen for life and
nourishment. And to convert medicine into daily food, gradually destroys
its remedial qualities.
Some parents, indeed, use nothing but correction.
They indulge their own passions at the expense of their less guilty
children. Unlike our Heavenly Father, they afflict and grieve their
children willingly;" (Contrast Lam. iii. 33. Heb. xii. 10.) to vent their own anger, not to subdue their
children's sins. Self-recollection is of great moment. 'Am I about
to correct for my child's good?' An intemperate use of this Scriptural
ordinance brings discredit upon its efficacy, and sows the seed of much bitter
fruit. Children become hardened under an iron rod. Sternness and
severity of manner close up their hearts. It is most dangerous to make
them afraid of us. A spirit of bondage
and concealment is engendered, often leading to a lie; sowing the seed of
hypocrisy--nay, sometimes of disgust, and even of Hatred, towards their
unreasonable parents. 'If parents,'—said a wise and godly father--'would
not correct their children except in a praying frame, when they can "lift
up their hands without wrath," it would neither provoke God nor them.' (Matthew
HENRY'S Life, chap. xiii.)
Other
parents freely threaten the rod, yet withhold it. It was
only meant to frighten. It soon becomes all empty and powerless sound. This again contravenes our Great
Exemplar. His threatenings are not vain words. If his children will
not turn, they will find them faithful and true to their cost. This
threatening play is solemn trifling with truth; teaching children by example,
what they had learnt from the womb (Ps. lviii. 3), to "speak lies."
Let our words be considerate, but certain. Let our children know, that
they must not trifle either with them or with us. The firmness of
truthful discipline alone can convey a wholesome influence. Any defect
here is a serious injury.
We must learn however
not to expect too much from our children; nor to be unduly depressed by their
naughtiness. Yet we must not wink
at their sinful follies. We must love them not less, but better. And because we love them, we must not
withhold when needed correction from them. More painful is the work
to ourselves, than to them. Most
humbling is it. For since the corrupt root produces the poisoned sap in
the bud, what else is it but the correction of our own sin? Yet though
"no chastening for the present be joyous, but rather grievous" (Heb.
xii. 11); when given in prayer, in wisdom, and in faith, the saving blessing
will be vouchsafed.* 'Lord, do thou be pleased to strike in with every
stroke, that the rod of correction may be a rod of instruction.' (SWINNOCK'S Christian Man's Calling, ii. 35.) 'It is a rare soul '--said good Bishop
Hall--'that can be kept in constant order without smarting remedies. I
confess, mine cannot. How wild had I run, if the rod had not been over
me! Every man can say, he thanks God for his ease. For me, I bless
God for my trouble.' (Silent Thoughts, xxi.)
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