Lesson 13 “Questions Answered” Mark 10.1-31
ID:
Inductive Questions (Asking the text questions like who, what, where, when,
why, & how?”)
CR: Cross
References (Comparing Scripture to Scripture, understanding the vague by the
clear.)
WS: Word
Study (Understanding definition, theological meaning, and usages in other
passages.)
The WORD: What does the Bible say?
Context: Read Mark 9:47-10:34
to help understand the context of this passage.
Read Mark 10:1-31 in a more literal
or more dynamic translation
than you usually use. Also read Genesis
1:24, 27; Exodus
20:12-14; and Deuteronomy
24:1-4. In this section Jesus
answers questions with teaching about divorce, salvation, and commitment.
1. ID/CR: (10:2-5) What did Moses command about divorce? (Deuteronomy
24:1-4) Why did God have Moses give
those commands?
2. ID/CR: (10:5-8) What
did Jesus teach about the purpose of marriage? (Genesis
1:24, 27) Why is divorce bad
according to this passage? How does this
teaching about marriage compare and contrast with the current culture’s views?
3. CR/WS: (10:10-2) Is divorce ever permissible? How should we
harmonize Jesus’ statements here (Matthew 5:31-32;
19:3-12; Luke 16:18) with teaching about divorce in the epistles? (Romans
7:2-3; 1 Corinthians 7:10-17, 39)
4. ID: (10:13-15) How
did Jesus respond to the man? To his question? Why did the answer make him sad?
5. ID: (10:23-27)
What is the “eye
of a needle?” How hard is it to
enter the kingdom of heaven? Why? (Compare
verses 15 and 24.)
6. ID: (10:28-31) What
does Jesus expect of His followers? Do
these verses encourage us to leave
our families? How does verse 31 relate
to verses 29-30? (The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible says that this
verse means, “Abandon your wife and family and Jesus will give you a big reward.”
How would you respond?)
The WALK: What should I do?
1. How serious is an unscriptural divorce? Why? Have you ever considered divorce? Why or why not?
2. If someone asked you for one key piece of advice about
marriage, what would you say? Why?
3. How do you think your riches, your family, and your
friends have affected your relationship with the Lord and His priorities?
4. Have you or someone you know had family members
disassociate with you/them because of your/their faith in Christ?
Going
Beyond:
What do Jesus’ comments in verses 2-12 say about how about how He viewed OT
accounts and characters like Adam and Eve?
2. What areas of theology are touched on in this passage?
□ The Bible □ God □ God the Father □ Jesus
Christ □ The Holy Spirit □ Man
□ Salvation □ The Church □ Angels & Satan □ Future Things
Tulsa Bible Church: What We Teach on Marriage, Divorce and
Remarriage of Believers
INTRODUCTION: The purpose of this pamphlet is to delineate
the position of Tulsa Bible Church on issues related to divorce, including the
biblical grounds for divorce, a biblical perspective on remarriage, and what
the Bible has to say about ministry restrictions on those who have been
divorced.
MARRIAGE: GOD’S PLAN
Marriage is God’s idea, not man’s!
It was instituted by God in the time of man’s innocence, beautified by
Christ’s presence at the wedding in Cana, and symbolizes the mystical union
between Christ and His church. From the beginning, God, by His wise and loving
design, has ordained marriage for the propagation of the human race and for
mutual companionship and fulfillment of husband and wife. He intended for
marriage to be a lifelong union between one man and one woman. Following the
account of Eve’s creation (Genesis 2:18-24) is the beautiful statement:
“Therefore, a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and
they become one flesh.” Referring to Genesis 2:24, Jesus added, “So they are no
longer two, but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put
asunder” (Matthew 19:6). True, he calls some people to forgo marriage and
remain single (Matthew 19:11-12; 1 Corinthians 7:7) and in the next world after
the resurrection it will be abolished (Mark 12:25). Yet, while the present
order lasts, it is to be honored by all, not forbidden, and as Paul says in
Romans 7:2, it is intended to be a permanent union to be broken only by
death. It is therefore one of life’s
most meaningful and lasting commitments.
DIVORCE
At the outset, we want to state emphatically that we are strongly
opposed to divorce. God’s Word, in Malachi 2:16, asserts that GOD HATES
DIVORCE. Knowing God’s original ideal for marriage makes us realize the full
tragedy of divorce. Initially SIN is involved and that is an affront to
God. IT CONTRADICTS His will; frustrates
His purpose; brings to the husband and wife the acute anguish of alienation
disillusion, recrimination and guilt; and precipitates in children a crisis of
bewilderment, insecurity, and often anger. In a very real sense, divorce is one
of the most severe forms of child abuse.
BIBLICAL CRITERIA FOR DIVORCE
Though divorce is terrible for these and other reasons, it is permitted
in Scripture in only two cases.
BASIS #1: FORNICATION
The first,
stated in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9, is fornication. The term is commonly
used in Scripture to refer to the broad range of sexual sins such as adultery,
homosexuality, bestiality, prostitution, incest, etc.
There are some very practical reasons why fornication, so understood,
would be a legitimate basis for divorce. If it were not, the faithful spouse
would continue under the obligation stated by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 to
provide sexual fulfillment for his or her partner. It would be emotional
torture to require a husband or wife to be sexually responsive to a mate whom
they knew was committing adultery. In addition, there would be the possible
exposure to sexually transmitted diseases. With the spread of the AIDS
epidemic, this becomes an increasingly serious concern. For these and other
practical reasons, God does not require a spouse to remain with a partner who
has committed fornication.
Foundational to these practical reasons for giving relief to the person
whose spouse has committed fornication is a basic principle related to the
nature of marriage. The marriage bond consists of two factors. A public or
legal commitment to live faithfully as husband and wife, and the consummation
of that agreement in physical union. The legal agreement is a public expression
of intent regarding fidelity in the physical relationship.
Fornication breaks that physical union. In other words, when a person
commits fornication, the two are no longer one flesh in the technical sense of
the word. I Corinthians 6:16 states: “Or
do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the
two, He says, shall become one flesh.” Therefore, the married man having
relations with a harlot has become one flesh with her, thus breaking the “one
flesh” relationship with his wife.
Since the physical union is broken through fornication, the spouse not
committing fornication has the option to reflect that condition legally by
terminating the legal contract. In other words, with the severing of the
physical union through fornication the marriage is already broken. The breaking
of the legal tie through divorce merely reflects that fact legally.
However, where there has been fornication, divorce is not required. The
spouse who has been sinned against may choose to retain the legal bond and
re-consummate the marriage. When the wronged partner chooses divorce, this does
not necessarily connote lack of forgiveness. A spouse may forgive and yet not
be willing to trust the unfaithful partner in a renewed relationship.
BASIS #2: ABANDONMENT
A second biblical basis for divorce is found in I Corinthians 7:15.
“But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not
under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.” This passage
seems to be saying that a person is free from marital vows and the
corresponding obligations when abandoned.
This basis for divorce may not actually be a second one, added to the
one given by Christ, i.e., fornication, but may merely be a practical
expression of the one which Christ gave us. In most cases where desertion takes
place, the person does not leave in order to lead a celibate life. In fact, in
the majority of cases, his or her leaving is motivated by an affair with a
third party. Even where a person is not involved at the time of leaving, most
people who leave a marriage intend to ultimately establish such a relationship.
In other words, they intend to commit “fornication.”
In the closed Jewish society which Christ addressed, it would not be
too difficult to determine if this were in fact the case. However, in the
broader Gentile context, it would be difficult for a person to track down a
spouse who had departed to determine if they were committing fornication. In
this passage, Paul seems to be reliving the deserted believer of the burden of
proving that fornication is taking place. He seems to be making the assumption
that if a spouse has departed, they are suspect of fornication to the point
that further proof is not required to warrant a divorce. One can see the wisdom of this approach in
relation to our society. To actually prove that a person was committing
fornication would be difficult. It could be challenging even to establish what
might be considered adequate proof. Since sexual activities are conducted in
private, it may be impossible to go beyond circumstantial evidence in
establishing the fact that the person has committed fornication. Paul seems to
be saying that departing is sufficient circumstantial evidence.
In the case of desertion, a value judgment is required to determine how
long a spouse must be gone before it is considered desertion. However, God can
certainly give His people wisdom to make that determination.
THE NEED TO CAREFULLY CONSIDER THE OPTION
OF RECONCILIATION
Two bases for divorce have been described above. However, neither
constitutes a requirement to divorce. In such cases, several factors weigh
heavily on the side of reconciliation rather than divorce. The first is
children, if the couple has been blessed with them. In most cases, destroying a
marriage which can be reconciled is not doing that which is in the best
interest of the children. To make them choose between mother and father is
placing them in a position of great anguish. Forcing them to live without one
parent is a painful plight resulting in long-term detrimental effects. Those
effects are often amplified by step parents who treat the step children as
unwanted baggage.
Another factor in support of reconciliation is that second marriages
often end in failure. It is usually easier to make the first one work than it
is to succeed with a second one. Many other factors could be cited in favor of
reconciliation. This is not to say that reconciliation is always the best
option. However, divorce should only be entered into after reconciliation has
been thoroughly considered.
REMARRIAGE
The above discussion leads us to the issue of remarriage. In what cases
is remarriage permitted by Scripture?
BASIS #1:
When Christ was addressing the
issue of divorce in Matthew 19:9, the matter of remarriage was an integral part
of the discussion. These Jewish men were not asking whether they could divorce
their wives to live celibate lives, but whether they could divorce for the
purpose of remarriage. The fact that Christ understood this to be their intent
is clearly reflected in His response in Matthew 19:9 “And I say to you, whoever
divorces his wife, except for fornication, and marries another, commits
adultery. . .”
The implication of this statement is that where there has been sexual
immorality, the innocent party has the prerogative to divorce. If he or she
chooses to assert that prerogative, and since both the physical and legal bonds
have then been broken, the innocent party has the right to remarry. It should
be emphasized that only the innocent party has the biblical right to break the
legal contract, i.e. to divorce. Scripture does not specifically address
remarriage for the guilty party.
BASIS #2
In the case of desertion, Paul states in I Corinthians 7:15 that “a
brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to
peace.” This language seems to be saying that the person is no longer
biblically bound by the legal bond, and therefore is free to remarry.
This understanding of the passage is supported by the language of
Romans 7:2-3, “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her
husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the
law of her husband…so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another
man.” Though a different Greek word is used, Romans 7:2-3 refers to the person
who has no right to remarry as being bound, and when the bonds are broken, in
that passage by death, remarriage is permitted. Though I Corinthians 7:15
speaks of the bonds being broken by abandonment rather than death, Paul seems
to be presenting a parallel truth to that found in Romans 7 regarding the freedom
to divorce and remarry. This truth is reiterated in I Corinthians 7:39.
SUPPORT FROM THE BIBLICAL
TEACHING ON THE NEED FOR MARRIAGE
This understanding of the biblical teaching on remarriage allows some
the option of being married. In all situations, there must be a waiting period.
MINISTRY RESTRICTIONS ON
DIVORCED PEOPLE
Only two New Testament passages in Scripture could be interpreted to
place restrictions on the ministry of divorced people. They are I Timothy 3 and
Titus I which describe the qualifications of elders and deacons.
However, the point should first
be made that in view of the above, there is no biblical basis whatever for
restricting those with a divorce in their backgrounds from any other type of
ministry in the church. Of course, if in
the case of a person recently divorced, where there is indication that a
character flaw or misconduct on the part of the individual contributed to the
divorce, those factors should be considered prior to assigning the person to
any ministry position. The reason for this however, is not necessarily related
to the divorce, per se. Rather, misconduct and character flaws should restrict
a person from leadership in the church in whatever context they are found.
This brings us to the question of whether I Timothy 3 and Titus I
preclude a person who has been divorced from serving as an elder or deacon.
These passages require that those holding the position of bishop or elder (I
Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:6) or deacon (I Timothy 3:12) must be “the husband of one
wife” (so translated in the KJV, NKJV, NASB and NIV.) The literal translation
of this phrase from Greek is: “One woman man.” This can be interpreted to refer
to one of several conditions. Some believe that it refers to a divorced person.
Others think that polygamy is in view. Another view is that it refers to a
person who behaves appropriately in his relationships with women, i.e. a person
who is above reproach in sexual matters.
A passage helpful in understanding this phrase is I Timothy 5:9 which
deals with qualifications of widows for church financial support. One
qualification is that she is to be “the wife of one man.” The expression here
is exactly the same as the qualification for elders and deacons, only with the
gender transposed.
Used in this context, it is clear that the expression does not refer to
polygamy since in that culture a woman would not be married to several husbands
simultaneously It is also doubtful that it refers to a person who has not been
divorced, since it does not seem likely that the church would refuse support to
a needy widow for an event that might have occurred many years before, which
might have been beyond her control, and which she now cannot undo.
Rather, it seems much more likely that it refers to a woman whose
reputation regarding her conduct with men is above reproach. The NIV seems to
have that understanding in view in their translation of the phrase as referring
to a woman who “has been faithful to her husband.” This translation is
compatible with the verse that follows which stresses the character of the
person. It must be remembered that divorce may not be a reflection on the
character of a person since he or she may have been a helpless victim. In some
cases a person is even divorced because of his or her commitment to Christ.
Therefore, the understanding of “one man woman” as a person above
reproach in her dealings with the opposite sex best fits the context of I
Timothy 5.
Therefore, a parallel understanding of the phrase “one woman man” as
referring to a man above reproach in his interactions with women is warranted
in I Timothy 3 and Titus 1. This interpretation also seems to fit the context
of I Timothy 3 and Titus 1. The general nature of the qualifications for those
offices is related to a person’s character rather than his history. It would
seem strange that a blot in his past in the area of divorce would exclude him,
though the divorce may not have been his fault, whereas sins viewed as far more
serious may be overlooked. It would be more in keeping with the general nature
of the qualifications to view “one woman man” as referring to a man who is
above reproach in his conduct with women. As with any other matter which would
call into question a person’s character, the person with a divorce in his past
must be examined very carefully before being considered for the office of elder
or deacon.
The qualification of being “above reproach” (I Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:6)
weighs heavily on the issue of divorced persons serving as elder or deacon.
“Above reproach” means that a person does not have a character flaw that
someone can use against him. This “reproach” could involve any area in a
prospective elder or deacon’s life and certainly could include the issue of a
past divorce. In society at large and especially in Christian circles, divorce
carries with it a certain stigma and
could be considered by some to be a reproach upon a person, thus
disqualifying that person from serving as elder or deacon. The issue of
“reproach” however, is one that is not black and white, and requires much
wisdom in interpreting in each individual case. Many questions come to mind.
What if divorce occurred before one became a believer? What if it occurred
after one became a believer? What is a
man’s wife was previously divorced and yet he had never been divorced? Does
divorce cause a reproach upon the office of elder more than the office of
deacon? These questions obviously are not simple to answer and each individual
case requires much prayer and searching for the will of God.
APPLICATION IN THE AREA OF
SERVICE
In terms of leadership, God places higher standards on those who aspire
to the office of elder and deacon (James 3:1, I Timothy 3:1-13, Titus 1:5-9).
In order to maintain the utmost level of integrity for the men who hold these
offices, the principles of I Timothy 3 and Titus 1 shall be prayerfully
followed.
Divorce prior to salvation may exclude one from leadership. It is
unlikely that believers who are divorced after salvation can assume the office
of elder (including pastor) and deacon. While there may be unusual
circumstances where this occurs, it is the ordinary practice of TBC to consider
those who have not been divorced.
THE CHURCH’S RESPONSE TO PEOPLE
WITH A DIVORCE IN THEIR PAST
In view of the prevalence of divorce in our society, we can expect that
a number of people will come to us who have divorce in their background that
are not in keeping with the policy stated above. How should we as a church
respond to them? First, if the marriage can be reconciled, the church should
help them in any way possible toward that end. However, once they have done all
they can to rectify relations in their previous marriage, we as a church should
extend Christ’s forgiveness (II Corinthians 2:7) and love them as we would any
brother or sister in Christ.
After reading and studying this document, you may still have unanswered
questions. If so, you may contact an elder(s) who would consider it a privilege
to talk with you about these issues.
WORD
3. This question moves
toward a more topical approach on this important topic of divorce and
remarriage. I think that you will find TBC’s
What We Teach about Divorce and Remarriage a helpful guide.
4. This question
should be a good time to touch on the corrupting effect that a desire to be
rich has on our spirits. 1 Timothy 6 and
the parable about the rich fool (Luke 12:13–21 esp. v. 15) would be helpful cross
references.
6. Cults frequently
encourage an unhealthy withdraw from family and friends. This is an opportunity to work through the
balance between wrongly abandoning family and letting them influence you to not
be whole hearted for the Lord.
WALK
1-2 I hope this will
give your men an opportunity for some real sharing about their lives. I would note that while divorce has many devestating
social, emotional, financial, and spiritual consequences, the primary reasons
divorce are wrong is because it undoes a union God intended, is treaturous
promise breaking to our spouse, and dishonors the picture of Christ and His
church. Be sure to include those in your
discussion.
5. There should be a
lot of “low hanging fruit” on this question in this passage.
EXTRA
Tulsa Bible Church’s “What
We Teach on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage of Believers”
